Posts Tagged ‘identity’


I’ve been ruminating on my identify for the last month. Much of it has involved my association with ADF. You can read about what happened on The Social Justice Druid’s Patreon. Many of us in the community are still processing it all.  I know some have decided to leave. Some are stepping back. The whole situation is discouraging and depressing.

And yet, my grove remains a positive place. I recently ran into a man who  visited our grove a couple times in the past. It wasn’t for him, but we move in the same circles. He asked how the group is doing, and I explained that we’re still around; that we’re a small grove, but we get along. Whenever we do our toast and boast, many express gratitude for the group, describing it as a spiritual family. That’s what it feels like to me. We feel safe to be ourselves, and we keep working to make it a safe space for others who may seek us.

So I’ve been experiencing this odd, disconnected feeling. I’ve talked a bit about it with my grovemates – my worry about being associated with the very real issues that ADF needs to work through. However, I’m also really impressed with the positive work some people are doing to make change or  move forward. Missy Ashton recently shared her own reflections, and they really helped me.

It was time for me to renew my ADF membership. Missy posted her thoughts the day it was due, which seemed like a sign to me. I lapsed, mostly because I forgot due to other things happening in my life, but also because I was still processing.

I literally just renewed. I still possess a lot of trepidation about it, but for now, I’m mostly doing it for my grove after talking to them.

The year going forward, I will continue to watch and reflect. Not just about ADF, but about even calling myself a Druid. I keep worrying that I’m doing a disservice to Gaelic speaking communities using that descriptor… So I’m trying to get back into my studies, learning  more about the authentic folk practices of  my ancestors*. I continue studying Gaeilge (Irish) one Duolingo lesson at a time. I just bought Witchcraft and Magic in Ireland to better inform my practice. I’m so excited to dig in!

As we near a new decade, it seems a prudent time to reflect and reevaluate. Yet I do so with hope and optimism. I prepare to step past the threshold between 2019 and 2020 with a grove of spiritual siblings to support me as we continue our journey together to honor the deities, beloved dead, and land.

*I feel it’s important to remind readers that, although I have been inspired to research and embrace the folk practices of my Irish ancestors, DNA is not a prerequisite for this spiritual path. All you need are an earnest respect for, and desire to learn directly from, the living culture.

Read Full Post »

The Plant Spirit challenge starts May 1st, and I’m so excited to take part. You can read bios from all the hosts, including me! This is kind of a big deal to me because it marks a transition. I tend to avoid putting my face and name out there in connection to my religion, but I’m reaching a crossroads.

I’ve been working on a novel, and I’m planning to attend a writers conference in June all about publishing, query letters, literary agents, etc. I’m not sure what will become of it all, but needless to say I’m getting serious about sharing my story. With that comes a question of identity.

I’ve been using my online pen name for a long time, but would I actually want to publish under that name? And yet, my story is about contemporary Pagans. Am I ready to put myself out there using my legal name? Furthermore, I still retain the long-term goal of becoming a clergyperson in my religion. Such individuals must use their legal name, to some degree, for various reasons within ADF. So, I’m following the footsteps of S. H. Hinton and JK Rowling. It feels safer. The bio linked above also includes a photo of my face, but it’s darkened by the hood of my winter coat and the forest canopy. Also a safe transition for me.

I don’t think I’ll officially change my blog bio, twitter, instagram, etc, yet. Consider this a stepping stone. Hagstone Publishing is giving me an opportunity to experiment with sharing this info.

I’m excited to take part in the Plant Spirit Ally challenge! I’m writing with some amazing practitioners and artists. Please check them out!

Read Full Post »

I recently read a piece from NPR called “Shanghai Warms Up to a New Cuisine: Chinese Food, American Style” by Frank Langfitt.  It really caught my attention.

“What does Chinese food have to do with Druidism?” I hear you ask.

It has everything to do with identity and authenticity – two things that modern people on the Druidic path are constantly thinking about, talking about, and confronting.


Some lovely mashed potatoes I had at Watertown’s own Irish pub, Coleman’s Corner.

I’ve known for some time that Chinese food served in America is different from what is served in China.  I’ve never experienced any traditional Chinese cooking, so my only knowledge of this comes from friends of mine who have actually studied and traveled in China.  In the article, American expats living in Shanghai have found themselves missing American style Chinese food despite having a plethora of traditional restaurants around them.  One of the people interviewed has actually opened a restaurant that serves Chinese American food complete with all the trappings that are never seen in “authentic” Chinese restaurants – fortune cookies and white takeout boxes.  Some may cringe at this strange import/export, but one of the owners is of Chinese heritage – yet he grew up in America.  And I learned something that seems rather obvious now but I had never given it much thought: “Chinese immigrants created it over time, adapting recipes with U.S. ingredients to appeal to American palates.”

Fastforward to the present and recall every time you or someone you know critiqued an “ethnic” restaurant in America because it wasn’t “authentic.”  Now, just to be clear – I completely understand the appeal of traditional food.  America has a tendency to turn everything good into some weird, super sized, overly sweet/salty version of itself with high fructose corn syrup and artificial dye for good measure.  But let’s be fair – that isn’t always the case.    Many “ethnic” restaurants in America are  local “ma and pa” places that have been passed down through generations that originate through, yes, immigrants!  Immigrants who had to fight and often, for better or worse, give up parts of themselves to assimilate in America.

My Irish ancestors were part of that process.

March is coming.  In many ways, March is like the American Chinese food of months for Irish diaspora like myself.  Irish pride month is full of things we recognize as somehow Irish – traditional music, step dancing, Jameson whiskey, and soda bread.  Yet it’s also full of things that make people who know a lot about their Irish heritage and its culture cringe – garish green “Mardi Gras” style accessories, green beer, poorly translated Gaelic t-shirts, and “Irish nachos” (whatever those are).


Yet I try very hard not to let those things detract from my ability to enjoy celebrating my heritage.  I know I’ve grown up in America and my nationality is American, but I am also of the Irish diaspora.  You cannot take my heritage away from me.  I’m not perfect and there’s so much more I want to learn about and engage in with regards to Ireland.  I want to learn more Irish, practice more traditional music on my viola and bodhrán, read more history and mythology, fight to preserve the land in America and Ireland … And I do so with the greatest amount of respect and an open mind.  I wasn’t always this way.  I’ve grown up from a relatively ignorant child who thought Ireland was all about green beer and old castles with stones to kiss, to an equally ignorant new Pagan who felt St. Patrick’s Day was the worst thing ever, to the modern Druid I am who embraces Irish pride month and thirsts to know more about her heritage – ancient and modern.  I will forever be on that journey, and I know others are on similar tracks.  When it comes to Druidism, it’s far more productive to live my path and offer guidance when asked rather than turning my nose up at everyone who wears their plastic Mardi Gras St. Patrick’s Day beads or insists that “Bring Back the Snakes Day” is a good idea.

If my country were an Irish American pub menu, yes there are a lot of Irish nachos and loaded Irish potatoes and whatever other very “American” breeds of Irish diaspora, but there are plenty of people like myself.  And although I get annoyed with the so-called “plastic paddies,” we all start somewhere and even most people who value the traditional also enjoy the comforts of their childhood (like my fondness for Americanized soda bread from time to time).  Although it’s not something I see often, occasionally a Pagan from Europe will look down his or her nose at the diaspora, as if we are somehow less than deserving to embrace our heritage – usually as a result of people who have lost touch with most of their ancestry, have yet to delve into a deeper exploration of their past, and instead fill that part of them with what modern America tells them is Irish.   American, Canadian, Australian, English, South African,  and all nationalities of Irish diaspora should not be deterred from embracing their heritage and honoring their ancestors who left Ireland for whatever reason.  They did what they felt was right, and unfortunately that often meant giving up some of their traditional ways to fit in.  The fact that we have any Americanized “ethnic” food is because immigrants from all over the world came here and engaged in the overwhelming give and take that happens in very diverse places.  There was sacrifice.  For better or worse, it happened and the food they produced, the culture they produced, is still authentic – just not necessarily traditional!  We are authentic Irish Americans – which can mean a great many things, including embracing some of the traditional ways of the Old World… or making Irish nachos.

So when you worry about whether or not the dishes in American Chinese restaurants and American Irish pubs are “authentic,” realize that they are!  They are authentic Americanized versions of recipes that our immigrant ancestors brought over and experimented with over generations just to fit in.  Whether or not you think assimilating was right of them or society, dwelling on it for very long is fruitless.  Rather, honor the ancestors’ by toasting their efforts to do the best they could, reflect on how you can celebrate and encourage diversity today, and perhaps explore the traditional recipes your ancestors used to know.  Perhaps, one day, more traditional dishes will rejoin the Americanized in the restaurants to provide a culinary history lesson.

(For more on how foods from around the world changed due to immigration, check out this neat article from NPR entitled “Fat Tuesday: The Many Different Doughnuts of Mardi Gras” by Emily Hilliard.)

Read Full Post »