Even though I’m no longer pregnant, I have a few “Pregnant Pagan” posts floating around for tweaking and publishing. Bear with me as I transition into “Pagan Parenting” posts and the regular reflections on Druidism that you’re used to!
One of the most magical parts of pregnancy for me was the intuition. Finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a surprise. We had been trying for months and I was growing more and more convinced that I just wasn’t able to conceive (an old fear of mine based on irregular cycles). Feeling compelled by odd tingling in my breasts and a late period, I took a test, then another, and yes – I was pregnant! Some people, including a grovie from Muin Mound, claim knowledge of pregnancy from conception. I had no idea until my body started to give me signs and the tests confirmed it. So my intuition was not a mystical pregnancy test!
My intuition had everything to do with the baby’s sex. As my pregnancy progressed, I found myself having vivid dreams about my baby as a girl. Something in me just knew I had a little girl growing in me. Prior to my anatomy ultrasound, I decided to try out an old divination technique – I tied a bit of string to my wedding band, suspended it over my abdomen as a pendulum, and watched its movement. Side to side meant boy and circles meant girl. My pendulum spiraled in tight little circles so, once more, I was getting “girl vibes.”
Despite this, I maintained a dose of skepticism so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. “I could be wrong,” I told myself. “This could all be wishful thinking,” I decided, admitting to myself that, despite my stating either sex would be welcomed, I really wanted a girl. The day of the ultrasound, I girded myself for a penis sighting. My greatest priority was a healthy baby, of course, but there was that part of me that cheered “girl girl girl!” When the ultrasound technician showed us girly bits, my husband (who also wanted a girl) and I were over the moon! It felt amazing to know that my dreams, my dowsing, and my intuition were correct!
We weren’t out of the water yet. Ultrasounds are still interpreted incorrectly. We wouldn’t know for sure until birth. When her sex was announced as “girl” during my cesarian, I felt so validated amidst all the other emotions I was experiencing. My mother swears by her own intuition. She often has bad feelings before negative things happened. She is touched with “the sight” and sees close friends and family in visions or visitations before learning of their deaths. I sometimes have dreams and feelings about such things too, but to correctly predict the gender of my own daughter before birth was empowering to me as a practitioner of the “Old Ways.” Now of course, there’s a 50/50 chance so some would argue that the odds of my guessing correctly were quite good. They would say that my being correct is more of a reflection of those odds and does not prove I have any sort of intuition. To that I say bah humbug! I realize all of that, and yet paired with other intuitive moments I’ve experienced, this one being the most positive*, I’m convinced of what I encountered. It has especially taught me to listen to my instincts and my body. This often requires slowing down, keeping silent, and paying attention to patterns. It’s often difficult to do that when we’re so often running around from one responsibility to the next, but if you can slow down and listen to your “higher self” or your “intuition,” you may also find yourself feeling empowered and validated by your self-knowledge. Perhaps, if I become pregnant again, I will feel it right away…?
*Previously, like my mother, I have felt foreboding feelings about specific things before finding them to be as I saw them in my mind. They have usually been about my love life. I tend not to get intuitive feelings about others matters unless it is in regards to death – and that only happens some of the time.