On Knowing My Limits

Hello readers!  Sorry for the inactivity as of late.  Same old story, of course.  This is just a busy time for me.  I cannot wait to be finished with these grad classes.  That said, I always catch myself thinking of other classes to take down the road…  My husband likes to laugh at me and observe that I always schedule obligations for myself and hardly ever allow for a real vacation.  It’s true…  I blame my grandfather, really.  He’s always been a hard worker.  I don’t think he’s ever been officially retired and he’s in his 80’s.  When I was young, he told me that he would die when he stopped working.  He’s always had relatively good health and a very sharp mind.  I took his habits to heart, I guess…

That said, I’m developing wisdom that tells me I need to slow down.  I recently posted about having to learn when to say “no,” and this is very much related.  Sometimes we can’t say no entirely, or don’t want to.  There could be obligations very dear to us.  For myself, they are my religious obligations.  I hesitate to use the word “obligations” because that implies I’m not entirely thrilled with taking part, which isn’t the case at all…  Yet I hope you see what I mean.  They are duties I’ve taken up.  My religion is a personal discipline.  Unfortunately, my practice often varies in regards to time, depth of study, and participation.  The demands of surviving and keeping up on my education often win out – but education is very Druidic so I don’t feel that guilty.

A friend recently emailed me about feeling disconnected from her spirituality.  She asked for advice on how to rekindle that spiritual spark.  It was timely because I’ve been feeling a bit like that myself, only I haven’t felt entirely cut off in a long time.  I’ve developed little practices  – small daily rituals to keep myself bonded to the Kindreds.  Some days are better than others, of course, but the important thing, in my opinion, is to have something – even if it’s as small as saying a prayer when putting on a special charm.  Hearth magic with such activities as cooking and cleaning offer many opportunities for magic and prayer.  Not everything has to be a theatric, intensive ritual.

Once again, I’ve decided that I have to stall my progress in The Nine Moons work.  I have to focus on final projects, reading assignments, and actually attending class.  I’m so often exhausted.  I finished the sixth moon last month and had an amazing experience with the ancestors.  I’ve decided to continue working with them (in particular my ancestral teacher) this month and do my best to maintain some of my spiritual discipline.  I will resume my Nine Months progress in November.

Last night I meditated in bed before going to sleep.  Sometimes that leads to very vivid trance – others it puts me right to sleep.  I performed a devotional in my inner nemeton.  Sometimes the work we do has to be internal, introspective, and quiet.  Just like the moon, we wax and wane again and again.  Through studying the moon and working with it more, I’m realizing my own spiritual cycles.

Published by M. A. Phillips

An author and Druid living in Northern NY.

One thought on “On Knowing My Limits

  1. >> I recently posted about having to learn when to say “no,” and this is very much related. Sometimes we can’t say no entirely, or don’t want to.

    And some of us have not only never learned how to say “no”, we don’t feel like we have the right to. 😦

    Hope things improve for you soon.

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