On Saturday I joined my grovies at Muin Mound for our Vernal Equinox celebration and ritual. My husband took some photos that I will be posting to the grove blog soon, so I won’t get into too much detail, but I wanted to mention a few things about my own experiences that evening. I’m proud of myself for taking on a more involved role in the grove. I mean, yes I’ve become secretary and web mistress, but I’m more active and social overall. I feel like I truly belong and, even when I’m a bit uncertain about things, I no longer feel quite so shy. I volunteered to lead a part of the Two Powers meditation with the Senior Druid. This was a big step for me. I’ve lead meditations before, but never at the grove. I’m not sure what others thought of it, but I think it went well. I do think my reversal was far better than the initial calling down.
I will admit that I made a Druid blooper at ritual. While acknowledging the boundary of sky I started by saying “May the Earth not open up and swallow us.” I realized half way around the circle (I don’t know if anyone heard me or not) but I quickly switched. I don’t know how that happened, but it was either ditziness, my subconscious dwelling on the earthquake in Japan, or both. The recent tragedy was on many a Druid’s mind that evening. There were toasts and prayers to Japan and to the Earth in the hopes of healing.
The next day, I woke up and began my weekly Nine Moons retreat. It went better than the previous three and I feel that I accomplished a lot. I would have liked to do more (practiced Irish, practiced Celtic music on my viola, meditate more), but anyway… The morning charm continues to grow on me. I give the water to a plant in my craft room. Since starting, the tomatoes have been producing fruit like nobody’s business! Last I looked, there were 11 different tomatoes growing and numerous flowers.
My nature walk was incredible. I went further than ever before and came across the grim scene of a deer skeleton in a field. Sobering though it was, such finds are always fascinating lessons on life, death, and renewal. I think it was a perfect find on the Spring Equinox. Here I was looking for signs of spring and I found death itself. The bones (all I could find were the spine still attached to the ribs, hip bone, and skull, a lower jaw bone, and some leg fragments) were clean save bits of flesh and blood. The empty sockets were wide and all-seeing despite their emptiness. Piles of fur lay here and there – where torn legs were likely consumed by what I assume to be a pack of coydogs or coywolves. I stayed there for awhile and then climbed the rocks again to look from afar and meditate on it. I prayed for the deer’s spirit but was very conscious that this death had given life to the predators. And who had this deer been? The skeleton was large so, perhaps, an elderly or infirm deer. I thought of the other deer, the younger deer, racing away, safe thanks to the sacrifice (however willing) of the older deer. Had this slain creature once been saved by such a sacrifice? I thought of myself too. This past year has found me relating more and more to deer as spirit guides and personal emblems of my dietary and social choices. I like to think I’m a Druid on the path of the deer. I thought of the predators that stalk me… We all have them. Such thoughts are humbling. I keep seeing the deer and its brothers and sisters. They flit in and out of my meditations, trances, and dreams…
I’m so glad your grove meeting went well and that you’re feeling more comfortable within it. Eventually I would like to find a group/grove that I can meet with…right now its just not feasible though~ I love nature walks! So peaceful and yet thought provoking. I always am fascinated by fallen creatures–who were they, did they have a family, how did they die? All those things tend to go through my mind and I’m always reminded of the delicate balance we all keep.
See, I knew I wasn’t the only one who wonders these things! Thanks for your reply. Good luck finding a grove!
It’s good to know that there are groves out there growing together. Seems like my little proto-grove is starting to unravel, at least partially; one of our main organizers had a huge life change and will be leaving us for some time.
I’m glad that you’re blogging about your Druidry and that things are going well for you. It gives me hope that one day I too will find my right path, and have the means to follow it and feel whole. Many blessings to you and yours.
Oh that is too bad about your proto-grove… Sometimes things happen and nobody can help it. Is there anyone who can step up and help redirect? Have you thought about it?
And it makes me feel really good to know I inspire others. Trust me – I have days when I feel like I’m not really Druidic. There are a lot of people who inspire me to keep trying so I’m glad to give back.
You, not Druidic? My gosh, you’ve even been to Ireland!
…well, I don’t know. We’re setting up to meet for Beltane and I hope we’ll really get the chance to figure out who’s doing what and what kind of direction our group is going to take. Plus, I don’t think it’d be fair to others to say “oh I’d love to organize everything!” when on my own I can’t manage to do so much as light a candle for Ostara alone. ~shrug~
I’m just glad to have stumbled across your blog way back when and that you’re still blogging with a will. I really enjoy reading along and it’s awesome to see how you grow in your new home.