I met up with my witchy friends this weekend for a New Years blessing and Pagan chit-chat. Always a wonderful time! I realized a few things while I was there.
1) I’m getting better at sensing other peoples’ energies. I’m also getting better at trusting my gut and not stopping to think about whether or not it’s a figment of my imagination. It feels real enough to me and, even if it is a figment of my or a whole group’s imagination, it’s only making us feel closer to the divine. If other people want to dismiss my experiences, that’s their prerogative.
2) The theme of this year is, thus far, patience. Weretoad and I must be patient about getting a home. I must be patient to progress in trance. I needed patience when waiting to hear whether or not I was accepted into a grad program (I was!), and we all need patience through the hard times that will inevitably be waiting for us. Obstacles are a fact of life and if we can embrace them and/or learn from them, we will be better equipped to live life to its fullest. If we focus too much on what is just out of our grasp, we lose sight on what is right there waiting to be grabbed!
3) Despite the above optimism, I’ve finally acknowledged/come to terms with my entering a dark period. I went through a period of self-loathing a few years ago, but this is different. This is empowering – a real coming to terms with my inner demons as well as the darkness that is just part of all existence. If we can’t dig deep and face our fears – corporeal and spiritual – we will be as stunted plants. Some people are quite content with that especially as the unknown can be frightening. I feel that I’m on the cusp of really starting to explore that. I’ve been walking along the hedges and peering in, trying to catch a glimpse. I am taking my time and going at my own pace because I respect the nature of the journey as well as the limitations of my own body. My mental discipline is not as honed as I would like it to be. I need to continue practicing. I need to go outside more. I need to balance my brains with my soul and, somehow, also nourish my squishy bit of brawn.